Self-esteem is a person’s subjective assessment of his or her worth to himself or herself. Self-esteem covers various beliefs about oneself (such as “I’m a failure and I’m beautiful”) as well as physiological states, including sadness, joy, and shame. The more we believe that we are worthy of happiness and good things in life, the more self-fulfilled we will be. When we don’t believe that we are worthy of these things, our ability to enjoy them can suffer. 1[■]
Healthy self-esteem as an adult can be a gift given in your childhood. It is a blessing that most people overlook. There are so many ways adults with high self-esteem were supported as children that resulted in them having high self-esteem. For instance, they were praised for what they had achieved. 2[■] They likely experienced affection and were given enough attention. It is also possible that they excelled in studies or in sports and were admired for it by peers.
3[■] As children, many of these people were criticized, yelled at, or abused in one way or another. There is also a high chance that they were given no attention by the adults who were supposed to care for them. In some cases, adults with poor self-esteem were often ridiculed for their shortcomings or bullied by peers.
It is common that these adults also believe that in order to be appreciated they need to be perfect 4[■] There are people who are obsessed with their careers or hobbies because in their mind they need to tie their worthiness to something concrete. Oftentimes these people have to pretend to be something they are not just to get approval.
How you feel about yourself impacts how you live your life. People with high self-esteem tend to have better relationships than those with low self-esteem. 5[■] So if you struggle to reach out for assistance, it could be rooted in your low self-esteem.